Archive for misc

Where’s Harry Tuttle When You Need Him?

I know this is a long shot, but maybe someone out there can help me.  My problem is this:  everyone I can reach at Revenue Canada tells me that I can only get my Residency Certificate through a specific office in London, Ontario.  And every last one of them refuses to give me the contact […]

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Rip-Off Alert

Regular visitors to rifters.com know that most of the stuff I’ve ever published is freely available in a variety of e-formats on this site (and on some others). I’m a bit worried that this may not be a sustainable approach over the long haul (especially in times of global economic meltdown), but so far the […]

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And now for a word from our sponsor…

Anyone out there know someone in Toronto with a used treadmill (or elliptical trainer, I guess) to unload for a reasonable price? I can always go the Craigslist route, but I’d rather do business with someone one of you folks personally vouched for. It’s important to have someone other than me to blame, in the […]

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I Hate the New Normal.

Tendonitis, they tell me: chronic, and calcified, and apparently dating from the time I dislocated my shoulder while surf-kayaking in 1991. Now, after almost two decades of peaceful dormancy the fucker decides to wake up and turn me into the One-Armed Wonder throughout the holidays— apparently provoked by too many lame-ass bench presses and one […]

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Squiddance ’08: Big Green, Big Screen

Just for the next little while I’m commandeering the ‘crawl for social event planning, since not everyone is on facebook and I don’t have the time to set up an actual forum. I assure you this will not become a habit. Local real estate values will be restored shortly. In the meantime, though, this is […]

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Brechtian Punk Cabaret: or, I Would Kill For Amanda Palmer

Of course she had me before she even appeared on stage, before we froze our asses off in the wind and freezing rain waiting for the doors to open, before I ever heard “Astronaut”. She had me months before she dedicated “Oasis” (the peppiest date-rape-and-abortion song evar) to Sarah Palin. She probably owned me from […]

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Welcome to Pedo Central

At least, that is evidently the opinion of the net nanny at the Marriott Residence Inn, Woodlands, TX— which, Madeline tells me, blocks access to the ‘crawl because it is “harmful to children”. Certainly we appear to get under the skin of some folks, judging by the bleats of outrage that pop up in the […]

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…And Eric Cartman as Sarasti.

Calling out for some suggestions here. I seem to be juggling a small spate of interviews/online discussions at the moment, one of which is a long-overdue contribution to something called “My Book, the Movie“. This is an ongoing blog in which various authors dream a bit about who they’d like to see direct/star in/roach-wrangle movie […]

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Where Were You When the USA Pulled Back from Being a Fascist Shithole?

I was on the other side of the camera that took this picture, blocking the view of a big honking flatscreen monitor which showed the United States morphing magically into a place I would actually like to live: It was a brief and unfamiliar moment of happiness, so very long in coming: one of the […]

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Very Funny.

Okay, which one of you jokers is responsible for the following promotional offer appearing in my in-box? Subject: Promote Your Christian Book Christian Book Marketing is a division of Awesome God Publications. Awesome God Publications has been actively serving the Christian community since 1998. Through our years of experience in dealing with Christian books and […]

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