Beautiful Things.
Do you like my story “The Things”?
Do you more than like it? Do you adore it with a burning passion that puts the so-called “fandom” of all those other Things posers to shame?
Do you wanna prove you do, no matter how much it costs?
Then mammal, does Angel Bomb have a deal for you.
Todd Thyberg’s boutique press turns words into works of art. The dude doesn’t settle for reprinting the same old prose in a leather-bound jacket, maybe slapping on an autograph, and calling it a day. This man transmutes fiction into sculpture, into puzzle boxes full of hidden messages. His latest offering, Pathogenesis―which “looks at gun violence in America through the lens of disease”―comes with a 3D printed sculpture of a coronavirus with protein spikes made of actual ammunition. He’s put out a profusely-illustrated edition of J.W. Campbell’s original Who Goes There? complete with maps, notes, and expedition medallion. And his adaptation of my own “The Things” is, well…
I mean, see for yourself.
Hard-cover, cloth-bound, gleaming metallic foil-stamped dust-jacket. Illustrated (by Thyberg himself) up the wazoo. Signed by both of us, and including an interview in which I go into the history and process of the story’s creation. Deluxe enough for a boutique edition even if he’d stopped there. Most would have.
But you might have noticed that small flashlighty thing which ships with this artifact. It’s not just any old flashlight. It shines in UV―because this edition of “The Things” is also printed in ultraviolet ink. You need that light to see the annotations and illustrations hidden on pretty much every page, which add a whole new dimension to the things you can detect (see what I did there?) with your unassisted pathetic little meat sack eyes[1]. Every page is infested with phantom teeth and pseudopods and spiky alien pathogens. If you look closely, you’ll even catch a snippet of the BASIC (it was 1982, after all) that Blair coded into his desktop to simulate global infection rates.
That’s the standard package. If you go for the deluxe edition you also get blue goatskin binding, a foil-stamped slip-case, and―if you really want to go all-out― a hand-painted flashlight in the form of the flying saucer that carried the Thing to our world in the first place.
Neither of these editions is for the weak of heart or the low of bank balance. The standard package will cost you $200 US; the deluxe will set you back $850. Even if you’re up for that kind of price tag, you might want to wait a few weeks until the rest of the world switches to Euros or Yuen, and the US dollar crashes; then you might be able to pick it up for fifty bucks Canadian. But don’t wait too long: the print run for the standard edition is only 200 copies, for the deluxe a mere 50.
I have to admit that when Todd first approached me with his proposal, I was deeply skeptical he could sell any copies at all; this is clearly an item for stalker-level fans only, and my (extremely limited) experience with that demographic had convinced me that a) I have hardly any of those, and b) none of them are rich. But these editions have only just been released and I’ve already received a couple of pretty solid royalty checks, so someone’s buying the damn things.
If you have money to burn, why not join them?
- Also to check for urine and semen stains in your reading area, which should go without saying. ↑
Holy shit, i NEED this.
I am not rich, but eh, my portfolio has not yet crashed. I ve just asked the dude if he ships to Germany. Cannot wait to get my greedy mitts on it.
Also i wanted to add that you wildly, WILDLY underestimate how rabid your fanbase is.
Not rabid. Just undervaccinated.
That’s the easiest sell to make. Thanks for the introduction to Thyberg’s work.
The Delux 2.0 only an additional $1000. Invisible ink drawn directly from the meister’s very own precious bodily fluids. Guaranteed 100% authentic. Fisher Scientific Human Fluid Stain Collection and Identification Kit and gloves included. Stripped hot wire alien test kit extra.
Actually now it’s an additional $1800. Tariffs.
I bought this yesterday morning 5 mins after receiving an email about it, can’t wait for it to arrive.
I couldn’t help but notice—is that the Horse Head nebula at Doofus’s 2 o’clock?
Lagoon Nebula, actually. Here’s a better picture.
For any who might be wondering, that thematically-inconsistent ratty teddy bear up in the corner is “Rebecca Bear”, hand-made by an old woman in Quebec, which The BUG has had since she was eighteen months old. That white patch that looks like an out-stuffing wound is in fact the hospital band The BUG wore when she got old enough to have her eyes replaced with Arasaka implants.
A lot of history in that ratty threadbear thing.
I am broke but goddamn I am horny for this. If y’all ever do a reprint that’s at a lower price point lemme now. Or I’ll swap for a copy of the 3′ wide edition of Decrypting Rita, full of spot gloss shenanigans.
I so want to buy it, but they only ship within the USA.
You can contact Angelbomb through his contact formula, he promised me to ship to germany at least, so i guess europe is fine? Maybe a last artifact from the states before God-King Trump closes the borders and commences WW3.
Thanks, I just did that and ordered it. As a neutral Swiss, I cannot comment on the imbeciles ruling to your South, but I am getting my dollar-holdings out of there.
Congratulations, it’s great that ‘The Things’ is getting this treatment!
And I’m glad to see that Doofus isn’t working too hard.
I just wanted to take a moment to express my deep gratitude and admiration for your work. Your stories have had a profound impact on me, and I am incredibly proud to see that they continue to inspire artists to create beautiful artifacts and unique editions that elevate literature into something more—into an experience, a piece of art.
It fills me with joy to witness how your writing sparks such creativity, leading to stunning projects that go beyond just books. I fully support your work and truly believe that you will gain even greater recognition. More importantly, I believe in the power of your stories to inspire many more creators to bring incredible things into existence.
Thank you for everything you do. Your work is more than just fiction—it’s a force that continues to shape minds and ignite imaginations.
I do like that story…
This is fukken tempting. Although this feels almost like an investment. You wouldn’t open this thing. It’s really valuable in this whole what they call “mint condition”. And a few years down the line some fat cat would easily give a lot of petroleum and 5.56 rounds for this. Maybe even throw in a couple of slaves if you haggle hard enough. Then again as long as one owns this piece he himself would be a mark.