Behold, the Dawning of a New Literary Movement.
Squidpunk. My own contribution to this groundbreaking anthology will be called “Tentacles of Vague Unease”.
Squidpunk. My own contribution to this groundbreaking anthology will be called “Tentacles of Vague Unease”.
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November â24
⢠1.5° “deader than a doornail“. In other news, Allies storm the beaches of Normandy.
⢠Ah, crap: the planet will continue to warms for centuries even after we hit net zero. Assuming we ever do.
Tech specs here.
⢠Oh, lookee here: Cop29 CEO filmed agreeing to facilitate fossil fuel deals at climate summit.
No big surprise, mind you. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before.
⢠Biodiversity COP16 turns out to have been a total clusterfuck.
Not that we were expecting anything different, given that he international community has never met a single fucking goal in this particular arena.
October â24
⢠Over a third of the world’s tree species currently in danger of extinction.
⢠Currently on track for 2.6-3.1°C warming by century’s end.
⢠Monkeypox has figured out how to spread via direct human-to-human contact, a step up from its original zoonotic mode of spreading. We’ve seen this before. Anyone remember Zika?
⢠Risk of the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation collapsing in the near term have been “greatly underestimated”.
⢠A decent overview of the various and sundry corporations who’ve chosen to renege of their climate pledges.
⢠Time to give up on direct-air carbon capture. It was always a fool’s errand anyway.
2.7°C, here we come.
September â24
⢠Everything tickety-boo! Nothing to see here!
August â24
⢠Current ground temperatures on Antarctica are on average 10°C higher than normal (whatever “normal” means these days). Up to 25°C higher, in some spots.
July â24
⢠This decade’s methane emissionsâwhich have 80 times the heat-trapping power of CO2â have “far exceeded baseline projections” and are accelerating. In completely unrelated news, Kamala Harris has reneged on an earlier pledge and, if elected, will not ban fracking after all.
⢠And now it’s Jasper’s turn to burn to the ground. By way of poetic justice, the Trans-Mountain pipeline just happens to pass through that burg.)
⢠In unrelated news, last SundayâJuly 21, 2024â was the hottest day on record, ever. Well, until Monday, anyway.
⢠The next pandemic is expected to be “Bird Flu” again? What is this, a clip show? Where’s Nipah when you need it? Or even the Black death?
May â24
⢠Renewable energy in the US produced “$249 billion in climate and health benefits” from 2019 to 2022. PopSci coverage here.
⢠Working paper (not yet peer reviewed) concludes that “macroeconomic damages from climate change are six times larger than previously thought“. A mere 1°C increase (which, mind you, we’ve already passed) leads to a 12% decline in world GDP. PopSci coverage here.
If reality-based threats aren’t enough to get the politicians off their asses, maybe a threat to the global economy will. Not holding my breath, though.
⢠Global ocean temperatures have been breaking historical records for a solid year now.
⢠Leafhoppers devastating Argentinian crops. Winter frosts used to keep the insects in check, but, you know.
⢠We’ve already spent a year above 1.5°C, but that’s nothing; 78% of surveyed IPCC scientists expect us to blow past 2.5°C by century’s end (current trends point to 2.7°C). “We live in an age of fools”, one scientist opines.
⢠Biodiversity loss is biggest driver of disease outbreaks; climate change and invasive species also implicated. (Strangely, urbanization was a negative correlate. Which seems weird given the high-density thing…)
⢠Annual jump in global CO2 levels hits new record. Blame El Nino. Sure.
April â24
⢠EPA mandates that US coal-fired plants have to put up or shut down. Okay. Conditional green. We’ll see if this survives the inevitable industry onslaught.
⢠Climate change predicted to cost the global economy $38 trillion annually by midcentury, or six times what it would cost to keep warming to a merely-catastrophic 2°C.
Of course, all those Exxon-Mobil CEOs will be long dead by then, so don’t expect anyone to move on this.
⢠Arctic permafrost now a net carbon producer.
⢠Globally, hottest March in History. That’s ten consecutive monthly world records broken.
Remember when they were warning we might exceed 1.5°C as early as 2030? We already did that. For the past solid year.
⢠The East Antarctic Plateau just hit 38.5°C above its seasonal average. In related news, emperor penguin colonies are collapsing.
March â24
⢠2023 was 0.2°C higher than expected and no one knows why. (No, it wasn’t El Nino.)
⢠Great Barrier Reef bleaching again. Fifth time in eight years, if anyone’s counting.
⢠“Last Chance Tourism” is a thing now. “Quick, they’re going extinct! How can we make a buck off that?”
⢠A good candidate for Least Surprising Development Of The Week: major banks abandoning the “bare minimum environmental standards” for fossil fuel development that they themselves invented. Not that those were in any way binding in the first place, of course.
⢠It’s official: Avian Flu now in mainland Antarctica. (Previous cases were only confirmed among island populations south of the Circle.)
February â24
⢠First Human fatality from recently-discovered arctic Alaskapox virus (who readers may remember from my recent story “Contracting Iris“): also bubonic plague surfaces in Oregon.
Cats implicated in both cases. Go cats!
⢠North Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation en route to catastrophic tipping point”: 1m Atlantic sea-level rise, Europe cools so fast that “no realistic adaptation measures can deal”.
Significant uncertainty remains regarding when exactly the collapse will occur. Let’s just ignore that Nature paper that says it could happen as soon as 2025…
⢠New “Category 6” hurricane proposed. Because hurricanes are way stronger now than they were in the old days.
January â24
⢠Air pollution from Alberta Tar Sands 1,900-6,300% higher than previously reported. Meaning the tar sands emit as much air pollution as all other Canadian sources combined.
⢠Greenland losing thirty million tones of ice per hour, 20% more than previously thought. Another nail in AMOC‘s coffin.
⢠Norwegian government approves deep-sea mining. I’ve spoken to a couple of Norwegian scientists who think this is a very bad idea. They have a lot of company.
⢠We made it to 1.48°C in 2023! 0.17°C higher than last year, and we could break 1.5 in just a few months!
Come on, you ecocidal shitstains! Let’s show those candy-ass coral reefs who’s boss!
⢠Raptors on the African savanna in deep shit. 88% have declined over the past 40 years; 69% are in danger of extinction.
⢠So, H5N1 is killing polar bears now. How very seasonal.
What, did you think pandemics were only a human thing?
2023
November â23
⢠COP28 lobbyists to present meat as âsustainable nutritionâ. Because apparently, putting an oil company CEO in charge of the whole event wasn’t sufficiently farcical.
⢠Earth just experienced the hottest year in recorded history, and probably within the past 125,000 years. A quarter of the global population exposed to “dangerous extreme heat events” for at least a 10-day period.
They say next year’s going to be worse.
⢠UK forests facing “catastrophic collapse” within 50 years. On the up side, that means they’ll outlast civilization itself by a good two decades.
⢠Number of species in danger of extinction doubles to two million. Personally I bet that’s extremely conservative; we don’t even know how many species are out there in the first place.
⢠World’s governments plan to produce more than twice the 1.5°C-limit for fossil fuels by 2030. Plus ca change.
October â23
⢠Avian flu makes it to Antarctica, after a massively successful South American Tour that killed “500,000 seabirds and 20,000 sea lions in Chile and Peru alone”. Let’s see if they can top that down on Bird Island.
⢠Another tipping point passed: looks like we’re losing the West Antarctic Ice Sheet no matter what we do; there’s “no significant difference between mid-range emissions scenarios and the most ambitious targets of the Paris Agreement.” Goodbye, coastal cities. PopSci coverage here.
⢠Twenty one species removed from the Endangered species list because they’re, um, extinct. Well, that’s one way to clear the backlog.
September â23
⢠Swiss glaciers decline 10% by volume in two years. Measurement stopped on some glaciers because they’re, um, gone already.
⢠OK, I’ll admit this is pretty cool: Water from portable desalinator potentially “cheaper than tap water”. Solar powered, fits in a suitcase, 4-6l/hr.
⢠Senior oil executives providing “support” to COP28. Plus ca change…
⢠98% of Europeans breathing air that exceeds WHO pollution standards. Two-thirds of them are breathing air that’s over twice those standards. Not a green post because pollution is, you know, bad. But not a red one either, because the associated annual deaths of 400,000 of the world’s most cancerous pest species has gotta be some kind of silver lining, yes?
⢠Nipah outbreak in India. When this bug goes globalâand sooner or later, it will go globalâit’s gonna make smallpox look like a head cold.
⢠Antarctica warming “much faster than models predicted“, because of course it is. PoSci coverage here.
⢠Hottest Summer Evar, by two-thirds of a degree. From the Dept. of Duh.
⢠Tropical mosquitoes bring their disease-vectoring ways to Paris, en route to the Baltic. Right on schedule.
August â23
â˘Â Leader of religion that forbids birth control laments environmental destruction. Well, I suppose it’s easier than doing something about all kids they’ve raped and murdered.
â˘Â Oh, and filed under “News So Unsurprising It’s Barely Even News”: July 2023 officially the hottest month ever recorded. A record that’ll probably stand for about thirty-one days.
â˘Â Amazon leaders fail to commit to end deforestation by 2030. Something about not wanting to give up “extractive industries”.
â˘Â Tick-borne deathly red-meat allergies may affect hundreds of thousands! That’s one way to cut back on meat consumptionâand by the way, did I call it or what?
Now, if only some feisty ecoterrorists could port that trait into mosquitoes and horseflies…
â˘Â Irony of the week: Stricter controls on maritime pollution increase global heating. Seems all those airborne sulfates increased cloud reflectivity; now they’ve been reduced, more solar radiation gets through.
â˘Â Ocean surface temperature now hotter than any time in recorded history, and still climbing. Parboiled fish floating belly-up off Florida.
â˘Â Hey, everybody: leprosy’s back! (Just in Florida so far, but not for long: armadillos are leprosy reservoirs, and thanks to climate change those guys are already as far north as Nebraska.)
July â23
â˘Â The deep sea gets a one-year reprieve from mining. China finally backed down.
â˘Â Antarctic sea ice at record low.
â˘Â G20 countries fail to reach agreement on cutting fossil fuels again. Because, you know. Maybe it’s all just sunspots or something.
â˘Â And July 4 was even worse.
â˘Â July 3 was the hottest day the planet has known since we started keeping records.
June â23
â˘Â The nation of Tuvalu is uploading itself into the digital realm. Because its days are pretty clearly numbered in this one.
â˘Â Climate change amped the odds of the current Texas heat wave by five times. On the up side, it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving state. Except maybe Florida.
â˘Â In case you were getting bored of humans changing the global climate, here’s something new: Humans are also changing the axial tilt of the planet by depleting groundwater reservoirs.
â˘Â Oh, bother. Canada’s on fire again.
â˘Â Ice-free summer Arctic ahead no matter what we do. Previous models, suggesting we might save the ice cap if we really cut back our emissions, underestimated ice loss.
All together now: the optimists are always wrong, and the pessimists are too optimistic.
May â23
â˘Â Still on track to hit 1.5°C by 2027. Of course, if you only look at temperatures over land masses, we blew past that benchmark years ago.
⢠Albertaâheart of the Canadian fossil fuel industry, home to the Athabasca Tar Sands, hotbed of climate-change denialismâis on fire. Gosh. Who could have seen this coming?
April â23
â˘Â Worldâs ocean surface temperature hits record high. After three years of La NiĂąa tamping down on the cooker, itâs back to business as usual.
⢠Increased flow of Antarctic meltwater compromising abyssal circulation. Deep ocean stagnates; shallow ecosystems starve for want of upwelled nutrients.
⢠Canadian bank world’s biggest financier of global fossil fuel projects. It’s not like you can expect the federal government to chip inâthey already gave more than $15 billion to the oil industry in 2022 alone…
March â23
⢠8000-km swathe of sargassum weed headed for the Florida coastline. Whatâs not to like? Massive overgrowth, increased bioproductivity, increased CO2 absorption. The only thing it fucks up is Floridaâs human populationâand really, who deserves it more?
⢠âMurricaâs âenvironmental presidentâ approves 576m-barrel oil drilling project in Alaska, âpotentially producing more than twice as many emissions than all renewable energy projects on public lands by 2030 would cut combined.â
⢠Humans and their livestock now account for 98% of the planetâs terrestrial mammalian biomass. (When you include marine mammals weâre only at 94%, if you want to put a positive spin on things.)
⢠New UN finalizes deal to protect (most) international waters. Although I might downgrade this to orange depending on what it ends up saying about deep-sea mining.
⢠New GI-tract disease caused by plastics documented in seabirds.
⢠The Guardian tries to put a happy face on the fact that emissions continued to rise in 2022 by saying at least they didnât rise as much as they did the year before.
February â23
⢠Antarctic sea ice hits record low. In unrelated news, itâs 15°C today in Toronto. In the middle of February.
⢠Wind and solar were EUâs top electricity source in 2022. Despiteâor maybe because ofâRussiaâs invasion of Ukraine.
January â23
⢠Now even neural nets are telling us that things are worse than we thought: 80% chance we hit 2°C by 2065 even assuming carbon neutrality.
⢠Worldâs oceans hottest ever recorded in 2022. Absorbed about 10 zettajoules more heat than in 2021.
⢠Current carbon offsets are bullshit.
⢠Best-case (1.5°C) scenario: Half of all glaciers gone by 2100. Current trajectory: two thirds.
December â22
⢠COP15: Politicians desperate for some kind of win praise a non-binding biodiversity agreement with no enforcement, no accountability, and which doesnât even mention commercial fishing or agriculture. (At least it canât possibly do worse than its predecessor, which failed to meet a single one of its goals.)
November â22
⢠âNoneâ now second-largest religious demographic in England and Wales. The US is still a fundamentalist nuthouse, of course, but you take your wins where you can find them.
⢠Over 20K dead from this yearâs heat waves in western Europe alone. (Although maybe this should be a green post. Surely fewer of us is a good thing?)
⢠This yearâs carbon emissions on track to be highest ever. Way to bend that curve, guys.
⢠Previously-documented decline in human male fertility is accelerating!
⢠Fossil fuel reps at COP27 up 25% over last year.âMore than the combined delegations from the 10 most climate-impacted countries.â
⢠Equipment designed to cut methane emissions is failing.
⢠Past eight years hottest on record; each hotter than the one before. Follow the link if you want the ugly and consistent details about methane, CO2, arctic sea ice, glacier melt, and sea level rise. Bet you can guess the bottom line, though.
October â22
⢠No credible pathway to 1.5°C; currently on track for 2.8°C by 2100. Only hope is a radical and immediate transformation of global energy, food, and financial systems. Good luck with that.
September â22
⢠Christianity could well be a minority religion in the US within the next few decades. And itâs not other religions taking up the slack, either; the population is becoming increasingly nonreligious.
This assumes that no massive social upheavals cause everyone to turn back to religion as a security blanket, mind you. Not necessarily a safe bet these days.
⢠At least a third of Pakistan is underwater.
August â22
⢠All by itself, Greenland Ice Sheet decline will cause at least a 27cm rise in sea level no matter what we do now. âa very conservative rock-bottom minimum ⌠Realistically, we will see this figure more than double within this century.â PopSci coverage here.
⢠On the plus side, life expectancy in the U.S. continues to decline. Assuming anyone, you know, still trusts the CDC.
⢠Australian wildfires are probably enlarging the Antarctic ozone hole. And I thought the ozone layer was the one thing weâd managed to put right.
⢠Oh, great: polioâs back.
⢠Apropos of nothing in particular, turns out even a teensy nuclear war could cause global famine. On the up side, a major war would cut the numbers of the worldâs most pernicious pest species by more than half.
⢠Okay, Iâll give you this one: the curiously-named âInflation Reduction Actâ at least gets the US off the sidelines and taking a first step. Even though itâs not nearly enough. Even though the cheerleaders seem to be breezing past the fact that the IRA makes offshore windfarm development contingent on an annual sacrifice of 60 million acres to the fossil fuel industry.
At this point, you take what you can get.
July â22
⢠Democratic Republic of Congo opening vast tracts of forest (including gorilla habitat) to oil extraction. âOur priority is not to save the planetâ, proclaims their governmentâs climate guy.
Donât sweat it, dude. Itâs not anyoneâs priority.
⢠Monarch butterflies officially endangered. Kind of surprised it took them so long.
⢠From Britain to China, record-breaking heat-waves, forest fires, and evacuations. âNot a very normal situation,â reads one quote from a Portuguese meteorologist. Yes it is, dudette. These days, it very much is.
⢠US Supreme Court guts the EPAâs options for regulating carbon emissions. Because why just force people to have more babies when you can do that and increase the carbon bootyprints of each larva in the bargain?
June â22
⢠Desertification: Central Asian deserts have expanded by a hundred kilometers since the eighties.
May â22
⢠Exxon fails to wriggle out of going on trial for fucking over the planet and lying about it. This does absolutely nothing to mitigate climate change or to de-oil a single marine organism, but at least the odds of fucking up a few of the culprits may have improved a little.
⢠You know those 50+°C heatwaves that are all the rage in India and Pakistan these days? A hundred times more likely now, thanks to climate change. Once every three years, instead of once every three centuries.
⢠Pollution responsible for 1 out of every 6 deaths on the planet. Thatâs nine million a year.
Put that together with the ongoing decline in Human fertility, this problem might just take care of itself.
⢠Itâs now basically a coin toss whether we blow through 1.5°C within the next five years.
⢠91% of the Great Barrier Reef bleached this year. And the yearâs not over.
⢠Fossil industry embarked on 646Gt worth of âcarbon bombsâ, more than enough to blow through the planetâs entire remaining carbon budget for a 1.5°C scenario. Then again, 1.5 was always a pipe dream anyway, right? And besides, thereâs a war on.
⢠Swapping out just 20% of global beef production for mycoprotein could, by midcentury, cut deforestation (and associated emissions) in half.
April â22
⢠Over 15,000 mammal-to-mammal zoonoses expected over the next half-century as a result of climate change.
⢠A fifth of all reptile species are threatened with extinction. Popsci coverage here.
⢠And of course, mere hours after the IPCCâs latest report emphasises yet again how we absolutely cannot afford to approve new fossil-fuel megaprojects, the Trudeau government approves a new fossil-fuel megaproject.
They promise it wonât have any âsignificant adverse environmental effectsâ, though. Cross their hearts.
⢠1.5° is officially off the table. Now, the most optimistic scenario hinges on sucking carbon back out of the air to compensate for the inevitable âovershootâ.
March â22
⢠Great Barrier Reef bleaching yet again, during an El Nina this time (which is supposed to be when corals catch a break from the heat). âItâs also happening faster than was predicted 20 years ago.â
⢠Coal surging, renewables stagnating, thanks to the war. I guess we can kiss goodbye even Cop26âs delusional and miniscule hopes of 1.5°C.
On the up side, none of this matters in the event of a nuclear war.
⢠175 countries pledge to act on plastic pollution. Itâs not a deal so much as a pledge to work out a deal, but at least itâs a legally-binding deal covering the the whole production cycle. Popsci coverage here.
⢠Latest IPCC Report is out. âbrutalâ⌠âbleakest warning yetâ⌠impacts âsooner and greater than we originally thoughtââŚ
Ah, whatâs the use. Weâve heard it all before, and we do fuck-all.
February â22
⢠U.S. Oil Industry Uses Ukraine Invasion to Push for More Drilling at Home. And less environmental regulation. And more pipelines. You know the list.
⢠SW US megadrought now worst in at least 1,200 years. At least.
⢠Global methane hits 1,900ppb. Been spiking since 2007. Arctic-thaw feedback suspected.
January â22
⢠Coal is in ascension again. All hail the post-covid economic recovery.
⢠Ghost Flights are back. Up to 2.1 million tons of greenhouse gas emitted as empty planes fly around the skies of Europe. Didnât we end this shit back in 2020?
December â21
⢠You know how the Arctic is warming âtwice as fastâ as the rest of the world? Turns out itâs actually warming twice as fast as that. So, four times. Yet another case of exceeding the worst-case scenario.
November â21
⢠The moral case for destroying fossil fuel infrastructure. About the only thing Iâd disagree with is the claim that thereâs no moral case for taking human life. Oh, and âEthicalâ would have been a better word to use than âmoralâ.
⢠In the wake of COP26, Biden administration selling off drilling rights to 80 million seabed acres in the Gulf of Mexico. Way to âlead by exampleâ, you duplicitous scumbag.
⢠Oh, hereâs a cute little post-mortem tidbit from COP26: researchers were frequently prevented by the conference organizers from accessing the rooms where negotiations were taking placeâ. Kinda tells you all you need to know about how science factors into these things.
⢠You may have heard that if every country honors the commitments made thus far at Glasgow, we could be looking at a merely disastrous increase of 1.8°C, instead of the downright catastrophic 2-plus.Wrong. Try 2.4°C. (PopSci coverage here.)
⢠Hey, the grass roots finally accepts the reality of climate change! Of course, weâre still willing to do fuck-all about it.
October â21
⢠You know how weâre supposed to cut emissions in half by 2030? Current pledges, even if implemented, will only cut them by 17% according to the most recent UN Report (popsci coverage here). Yet another âthundering wake-up callâ; so much for âbuilding back betterâ.
⢠45% of Americans Donât Believe Humans Cause Climate Change. Which probably still makes them smarter than Pyro650: at least most of them admit that climate change exists.
⢠Fossil fuel industry gets subsidies of $11,000,000 a minute. Also, Biden signed as many drilling permits in the first six months of his administration as Trump did in his first year, during a time when no new drilling can occur past 2021 if we want to have a hope in hell of achieving even the flaccid half-assed commitments of the Paris Accord
September â21
⢠Coral reef coverage declined by 50% worldwide between the fifties and 2007. And that was before all those massive bleaching events hit the Great Barrier Reef.
⢠Still on track for 3°C, thanks to virtually every Paris signatory not even coming close to meeting their commitments. (The only country that is on track? Gambia.)
⢠Of course, they havenât won a lot yetâ and the moment they start, governments will probably just pass legislation to ban these kinds of lawsuitsâ but attribution studies are coming into their own when it comes to suing corps and countries for screwing the pooch on climate change. (Personally Iâd like to see more in the way of jail terms and death penaltiesâ but as usual, the good news is so far and few between you pretty much have to take what you can get.)
August â21
⢠Big Oil has a plan to deal with climate change. Basically, itâs suck up every drop of oil we can, for as long as we can, while getting governments and taxpayers to fund our ultimate and inevitable switch to renewables.
⢠Germanyâs greenhouse gas emissions are about to undergo the biggest jump since 1990, thanks to the post-covid economic ârecoveryâ. Ah well. At least theyâre learning to live with the whole catastrophic-flooding thingâŚ
⢠Hey, hereâs a teensy glimmer of hope: coal-free steel. Note they didnât say âcarbon-neutralâ steel, so I donât know how âgreenâ it is. Still. We take what we can get.
⢠Down in the US, this passing Summer of the Furnace has changed peopleâs minds about climate change not at all. Hell, 1 in 4 donât even think itâs any big deal.
⢠Parts of the March â22 IPCC report leaked seven months early by scientists fearing the usual governmental watering-down. How fucked are we? See for yourself.
⢠Yup. Weâre fucked even more unequivocally than we were the last time the IPCC checked in. Popsci coverage here.
⢠Revenge Travel. Itâs a thing.
⢠Oh goodie. Looks like the Gulf Stream might be shutting down. Too many downstream effects to list here.
⢠Last July worst for wildfires, globally, since records began.
⢠The Greenland Ice Sheet lost enough meltwater to cover Florida to a depth of two inches last, um, Tuesday. 8.5 billion tonnes in one day. Itâs not even a record.
July â21
⢠âEverything is on fire.â Siberia hit by unprecedented burning.
⢠Remember âLimits to Growthâ? Turns out they were right all along. Recent analysis suggests that business-as-usual will lead to global societal collapse around 2040, right on schedule. J. Industrial Ecol. report downloadable here.
⢠Even nowâeven nowâ the G20 wonât agree on commitments to combat climate change. Four of the miserable fuckers have put forth plans that would lead to a 5C rise in global temperatures if everyone adopted them.
⢠Not to be outdone by the Europeans catastrophic flooding also in China! All that coal-powered economic growth, finally paying off.
⢠Tired of the same old stories about heat waves, droughts, and wildfires? Youâre in luck! Climate change causes catastrophic flooding in Europe, too! Climate Change. A Catastrophe for Every Mood.
⢠The Amazon rainforest is now a net carbon producer. Goodbye, âLungs of the Planetâ. It was nice knowing you.
⢠June â21 was the hottest ever recorded in the US. Wanna bet July breaks that record?
⢠Last Juneâs inferno over on NâAmâs western reaches was rendered 150 times more likely due to climate change.
⢠Hate to sound like a broken record but once again, worse than the worst-case scenario: Nobody saw the Lytton conflagration coming. Scientists never factored âheat domesâ into their models.
June â21
⢠ExxonMobil lobbyists filmed saying oil giantâs support for carbon tax a PR ploy. ExxonMobil shocked and appalled by these allegations.
May â21
⢠Electric cars âwill be cheaper to produce than fossil fuel vehicles by 2027â. One source even says this will happen by 2024.
⢠Europe to clamp down on air and water pollution under green deal. âThe overarching goal is to eliminate all harmful contamination by 2050.â Good words. Letâs hope the actions live up to them.
⢠Heartened by so many governments suddenly hopping on the green bandwagon? Even if they all keep all their commitments, weâre still looking at a 2.4C global increase. Ah, well. 1.5C was always âaspirationalâ anywayâŚ
April â21
⢠Australian Academy of Science: holding warming to 1.5C now âvirtually impossibleâ. (As usual, the Hope Police object to the dire wording, but even they admit itâs âsuper-challengingâ and âhanging in the balanceâ.)
⢠Coal is powering the post-covid economic recovery. This yearâs coal usage expected to rival peak burn of 2014.
⢠European droughts over the past five years are âunprecedented in the past 2,110âyearsâ. Popsci coverage in The Guardian.
⢠Carbon emissions to soar in 2021 by second highest rate in history. Massive surges in coal power in the US and China.
The Covid Dip. It was nice while it lasted.
⢠Only 3% of the worldâs ecosystems remain intact. We might be able to recover up to 20% through species reintroduction if we really get off our asses, but what are the odds?
March â21
⢠Disease outbreaks more likely in deforestation areas. Well, duh.
⢠Bottom trawling releases as much carbon as air travel. Not to mention the sheer physical damage of clearcutting entire benthic ecosystems. Popsi coverage here.
⢠Bladeless, even windless wind power. From giant wobbling dildos to streetlamp-mounted little turbines that harness air displaced by passing traffic.
⢠Former CIO for sustainable investing at BlackRock states that âGreen Investingâ is Bullshit. Turns out capitalism is incompatible with decarbonization pretty much by definition. Who knew.
⢠Geoengineering goes mainstream. At least, the National Academies of Sciences thinks we should be taking a serious look.
⢠Falling sperm counts âthreaten human survivalâ. Itâs old newsâand I remain skeptical that linear regression is the appropriate analysis in any caseâbut wouldnât it be nice if our sperm counts really did hit zero by midcentury? And weâve got no one to blame but ourselves.
⢠Hey, new Ebola outbreak in Guinea. Actually itâs been going on since January, but who can keep track? (Also it now appears that Ebola can lie dormant in a host for up to 5 years, and then jump out and out break all over againâŚ)
⢠Northern Californiaâs Kelp forest ecosystem reduced by 95% since 2013. Crash instigated by a âmultiyear marine heat waveâ.
⢠UN agrees on standards to put a monetary value on ecosystems. Works great until Jeff Bezos pulls out his checkbook and says Okay, Iâve bought the Amazon. Letâs burn the fucker down.â
⢠Global carbon emissions on track to surpass pre-Covid levels. December emissions 2% higher in 2020 than in 2019. Goodbye, Covid dip. You were nice while you lasted.
February â21
⢠Chance of keeping global warming below 2C currently 2%. Goodbye, coral reefs.
⢠Nineteen out of twenty Australian ecosystems are seriously fucked (i.e., âexperiencing potentially irreversible environmental changes.â) Guardian coverage here.
⢠China doubles the number of âProtectedâ animal species. Now thereâs, like, six of them. (Just kidding. Really, itâs nice to see theyâve given up on the whole wolf-extermination thing.)
⢠Global âPeace Levelsâ have declined 2.5% since 2008. (Actually this dates from last August but I just discovered it now.) In your face, Stephen Pinker.
⢠20% of all Human mortality due to particulate air pollution. 30% in east Asia. Guardian coverage here.
⢠US Cities are vastly underestimating their carbon emissions. The uncounted difference adds more annual emissions than the entire state of California. PopSci coverage here.
January â21
⢠Past estimates of sea-level rise are too conservative. The worst-case scenario gets even worse, yet again. PopSci coverage here.
⢠Global ice loss now following IPCCâs worst-case trajectory. Which might be relatively good news, given how many indicators are trending to worse than worst-case. PopSci coverage here.
⢠Electric cars will be cheaper than the fossil-powered variety by 2023-2025. Of course, fossil-powered SUV sales are still going through the roof.
⢠Increased rewilding of landscape in rich countries, thanks to declining birth rates. See what happens if we just ignore that whole Judeo-Christian âfill up the world with thy numbersâ edict?
⢠Three quarters of the worldâs sharks and rays are in danger of extinction. As usual, a conservative estimate. Popsci perspective here.
⢠Electric car batteries with five-minute charging times produced. 1000 â 2500 recharge cycles without significant battery degradation.
⢠Future environmental conditions will be far more dangerous than currently believed. âThe scale of the threats to the biosphere and all its lifeformsâincluding humanityâis in fact so great that it is difficult to grasp for even well-informed experts.â Popsci summary here.
⢠Worldâs insects suffering âdeath by a thousand cutsâ. A series of papers in PNAS. Popsci summary here.
⢠Solar now cheapest electricity in history. Oil use still hasnât peakedâ and wonât without âstronger climate actionââ but itâs something.
⢠2020 hottest year in recorded history. Technically tied with 2016, but 2016 cheated by getting an El Niùo boost.
December â20
⢠Monarch butterflies are endangered under the ESA, but wonât get protection because âit costs too muchâ. Not the only such species, by a long shot.
⢠Mass die-off of birds in south-western US âcaused by starvationâ. One guess what the drought that caused the starvation was caused by.
⢠Fighting the Covid recession by amping up fossil-fuel production. Imagine my surprise.
⢠Global human-made mass now exceeds all living biomass. This doesnât even include landfills.
⢠Water now trading on the Stock Market. Hey, at least they havenât monetized the air we breathe. Yet.
⢠EUâs biggest oil producer closes deal to shut down its entire oil industry. Legally binding on future governments and everything.
⢠November 202 hottest November on Record, beating out runners-up 2016 and 2019. During an El Nina no less, which acts to cool the planet.
⢠By 2030, worldâs governments plan to produce more than double the fossil fuels than would be consistent with curbing global warming. Meeting even the half-assed Paris accords requires cutting fossil fuel production by 6% annually. Current plans: an annual increase of 2%.
⢠Media Reframes Projected Failure to Meet Carbon-Reduction Targets as Being âWithin Striking Distanceâ . If every country honors their pledges (which virtually none have done up to this point) weâre still looking at 2.1C increase by centuriesâ end. But hey, letâs move the goalposts and call it a win.
⢠Cloned Meat Goes Commercial. Only in Singapore, so far. And highly carbon-intensive until it scales up. But in a world in which 96% of mammalian biomass is people and livestock, itâs a start.
November â20
⢠Once covid passes, we plan on driving even more. Weâre a bit more restrained when it comes to flying, at least. Be still my heart.
October â20
⢠A fifth of the worldâs countries are in danger of ecosystem collapse. Odd. I didnât realize that âecosystemsâ respected international boundariesâŚ
⢠Arctic methane deposits starting to release, scientists find. Preliminary findings. Still awaiting confirmation. But if true, another cascade has begun.
⢠China pledges Carbon-neutrality by 2060. The bad news is, talk is cheap from the worldâs biggest coal-burner. Good news is, totalitarian regimes can turn on a dime if they really want to. None of that messy pandering-to-the-voter bullshit.
⢠Over half the Great Barrier Reef has disappeared since the nineties. As usual, this estimate is conservative; it doesnât include major bleaching events over the past year.
⢠California wildfires spawn first âgigafireâ in modern history. One fire, one-million-plus acres.
⢠Climate change could tip 1.45 million km2 of Amazonian rainforest to savannah by centuryâs end. Admittedly a conservative estimate. Popsci coverage here.
September â20
⢠World fails to meet a single one of the UNâs 2010 Aichi biodiversity targets to put the brakes on global ecocide. Not a single fucking one. Report here.
⢠Northern Hemisphereâs 2020 summer hottest in recorded history.
⢠Global wildlife populations down by 68% since 1970. Two thirds down, one to go.
August â20
⢠Greenland Ice Sheet has passed Point of No Return. Already the largest single contributor to rising sea levels. Now thereâs no Off switch.
⢠Rising temperatures on track to kill as many people as all current infectious diseases combined. Original paywalled study here.
July â20 and earlier
⢠Forget future development; emissions resulting from projects already committed/underway mean we can kiss 1.5°C goodbye as an attainable target.
⢠Covid Means Fewer Children!. Even better, the fertility decline preferentially affects those with the biggest carbon bootprints (i.e., urbanites in rich countries).
⢠2020: the worst year ever for the fossil fuel industry. âWeâre still in for a long and ugly fightâ, they admit. Still.
⢠Virtual extinction of Polar bears within eighty years due to climate change. But itâs not all bad. A few straggly survivors may be all Coca Cola needs to keep its advertising campaign within the bounds of good taste.
⢠Green power beats fossil fuels for first time in Europe. Still less than half, and pandemic-temporary. But something. Also when thereâs a renewables surplus they pay you to consume electricity.
⢠Unsuitable for âhuman life to flourishâ: Up to 3B will live in extreme heat by 2070.
⢠Record-breaking Siberian winter keeps 2020 on track to be hottest year in recorded history. Covid Pause? What Covid pause?
⢠It hit 80F in the Arctic this week. Not to mention the zombie fires.
⢠2019: the Hottest Year in Europeâs Recorded History.
⢠Ecuador To Sell A Third Of Its Amazon Rainforest To Chinese Oil Companies.
⢠Amazon could switch from carbon sink to carbon source within twenty years.. âDecades ahead of even the most pessimistic climate models.â
⢠The Great Barrier Reef is experiencing its third mass-bleaching event in five years.. Hey, just because nobodyâs talking about it doesnât mean itâs stopped happening.
⢠E.P.A., Citing Coronavirus, Drastically Relaxes Rules for Polluters. But itâs okay, because theyâre also asking companies to âact responsiblyâ.
⢠Australian Bushfires destroyed over a fifth of the continentâs temperate broadleaf forests. This year alone. Who knows what next year might bring?
⢠Global carbon emissions fall 2%. Itâs pathetic progress and utterly insufficient, but Iâll take what I can get.
⢠Australiaâs Bushfires Completely Blasted Through the Models. They werenât supposed to get this bad for another eighty years.
⢠A quarter of climate-change tweets are from bots. The vast majority of them denialist.
⢠January 2019 warmest in recorded history.
⢠Good news for a change: Global emissions didnât increase in 2019.
⢠Climate change displaced 17.2 million from their homes in 2019.
⢠Atmospheric triflouromethaneâa greenhouse gas 12,000x worse than CO2â reaches record levels.
⢠Weâre currently adding 5 Hiroshima bombs worth of heat per second to the worldâs oceans. And climbing.
⢠Climate threats now dominate long-term risks. Global leaders finally admit risks outweigh those from cyberattacks, pandemics, geopolitical conflict and weapons of mass destruction. Well, duh.
⢠Earth just had its hottest decade on record. NASAâs Gavin Schmidt admits 1.5C goal unattainable.
⢠2019 UN Emissions Gap Report (global emissions have to drop by 7.6% annually starting now or weâre even more fucked).
⢠3.2C unless emission-control efforts tripled.
⢠Greenhouse gases accelerated to new peak in 2018.
⢠Nature: Predicted extent of global flooding is triple previous estimates.
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They might as well just call it “Insert joke about bad sushi here” I.J.A.S.H. It has a nice ring to it don’t you think? Mmmm Ammonia. đ
Da’ schmeef
a little embarrassingly, i am disappointed to learn that this is not real.
I would -so- read a story by that title. Seafood Science Fiction anyone?
Peter –
just read ‘Hierarchy of Contempt’, and you are my new literary superhero.
I’m forced to use a pseudonym though, to avoid the persecution of the respectable.
That’s a lie; I still have pretensions of joining their ranks some day.
C
ps. your site has broken links in the updates section – i think you need to add the /real/ directory for the left menu (only in updates.html.)
So this wasn’t real after all? I dismissed this as unfunny the first time I saw it, then later noticed that the first word was a hyperlink (insert comment about site colors here); then briefly thought it was real until I read the comments of that entry.
Bleh. Well, there’s always Sheena 5.
The specific origins of ‘squidpunk’ are here, in the introduction and comments.
Dal said…
just read ‘Hierarchy of Contempt’, and you are my new literary superhero.
Why, thank you. It’s especially satisfying to achieve superherodom not through the eloquence of my fiction, but through the trashing of a Canadian legend’s disingenuousness. (Although evidently she’s backed down somewhat in the meantime. There comes a point where no matter how hard you squint, you just can’t convince yourself that the sky is green.)
ps. your site has broken links in the updates section
Fixed. Thanks.
Well, the mantis shrimp has trinocular vision in each eye, so maybe it was meant that the eyes of the squid in question are binocular individually? I’ve never heard of that property being found in squid eyes, though.