Best. Border Crossing. Ever.

“Shit, what was the name of the supervisor who authorised the release of my stuff?  Trevor Whitb—”

“Troy.”

“Troy what?  Troy McLean?  Troy McClure?”

“From the Simpsons?”

“We’re almost up.  Shit, what’s that guy’s name?”

Hi, I’m Troy McClure.  You might remember me from such films as

“Shit, shit, we’re up. Act nonchalant.”

“Passports, please.”

“Uh huh.  Purpose of visit?”

“Court appearance in Port Huron.  Also I’m supposed to get my laptop back, according to your boss Homer Simpson…”

Fortunately, though, that little Tourette’s part of my mind didn’t assume complete control.  I even remembered Troy’s name in time.  And the passage across the border, this time, was almost decadent.  “Right, Dr. Watts.  Let me call you an escort.”  They got someone to hold traffic so I could cut across lanes.  I didn’t even have to get out of the car:  they brought my laptop  and associated paraphernalia right to the driver’s side, let me check to make sure everything was there, inundated me with receipts, asked if I had any questions.  There wasn’t the least hint of belligerence.  They treated me with the utmost courtesy and respect.

It may surprise some recent readers of this blog to learn that, in turn, I treated them exactly the same way.

See how easy that is, guys?



This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 at 7:22 pm and is filed under Squidgate. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
52 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Robert
Guest
Robert
14 years ago

Good news so far.

Does this mean the trial is over, with everything working out OK? Or is there still more to come? I’ve been obsessively checking for news all day, but haven’t seen anything about you until now…

kristyrennt
Guest
kristyrennt
14 years ago

Hopefully the ease is only the start of a trend.

Chinedum R. Ofoegbu
Guest
14 years ago

That’s good to hear.

Kevin Murphy
Guest
Kevin Murphy
14 years ago

At least the little things go well.

Keippernicus
Guest
14 years ago

Ah nice, fear works wonders even on the jack booted A-holes of the world.

I know what name I’m putting on my fake ID the next time I go to canada.

Ian
Guest
Ian
14 years ago

sounds like someone’s clued in to what bad publicity can do for tourism and as Americans might have figured out, money coming IN, as with people coming IN to visit, is good for their floundering economy.

Bear
Guest
14 years ago

glad to see it went well this time. doesn’t mean that i’m now eager to go to the states 🙂 keep us in the know about what’s next for you. will you sue them? they would deserve to pay for what they did to you…

George Berger
Guest
George Berger
14 years ago

It gave me lots of pleasure to read this!

Laur
Guest
14 years ago

A little bit of courtesy was the least they could do for you. Good luck in court! (I know you won’t be blogging about that until the proverbial fat lady has her last say.)

Chang
Guest
14 years ago

Good news! Good news!

Nice ot be referred to as Dr. Watts, too! Are you sure you didn’t let loose at least one little sotto voce “FUCK THE GOVERNMENT?”

In all seriousness, I am glad you got treated like a human being the way we all deserve to be. I hope this is the trend for the end of time.

Gordo
Guest
14 years ago

That’s wonderful, Peter. Must have been surreal.

nacks
Guest
nacks
14 years ago

The latest from The Times Herald: http://www.thetimesherald.com/article/20091223/NEWS01/912230315/1002/news01/Watts-to-face-trial

The lunacy in the comments there continues.

I guess that from the details in the article Dr Watts didn’t testify himself (either that or the The Times Herald is only showing one side of the story).

ebear
Guest
ebear
14 years ago

Glad that went well!

NelC
Guest
NelC
14 years ago

Glad to hear that nobody Hulked out this time. When do you appear before the circuit court?

AR
Guest
AR
14 years ago

The best border is the one that isn’t there.

Hannu Blommila
Guest
Hannu Blommila
14 years ago

Glad to hear at least that went well!

Alehkhs
Guest
14 years ago

Great choice of closing quote on that Times Herald article…

Leona
Guest
Leona
14 years ago

wow… I’m so happy to hear that.
Yaayyy!!! 🙂

Chris in NY
Guest
14 years ago

In the spirit of FOX TV references and humor all around:

http://www.rebelchristmascard2009.com/

Enjoy!

Hank Roberts
Guest
Hank Roberts
14 years ago

Well, yeah, probably by now they opened this web page and saw the line of text:

“I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

Some manager decided, hey, maybe he could, we better be nicer next time ….”

DP
Guest
DP
14 years ago

Glad to hear you had a good experience.

I wish I could describe Tourette’s as a “little” “part of my mind”.

SM
Guest
SM
14 years ago

just goes to show that if you treat people with courtesy and respect, you will be treated similarly. If you behave like a beligerant a-hole, then you will be treated as such.

Looks like you’ve learned a lesson in manners since Dec. 8th.

SpeakerToManagers
Guest
14 years ago

Congratulations on entering the United States without violence. /sarcasm
Also glad you got your laptop back without a big hassle.

Now that’s different. The Times Herald story implies that there’s a possibility, based on the officers’ testimony, that Peter was beaten by one cop for obeying another. I wonder how many different stories we’ll hear before this is all over.

anony mouse
Guest
anony mouse
14 years ago

I have only two questions. Did you testify? And if you did, is the picture of you in the Times Herold a picture of you holding the bible that you swore on? Please tell me the latter is not the case. If you do end up testifying, I suggest that you opt to testify using the theory that the word “testify” originates from the ancient Romans and that they would swear an oath on their testicles. It may not be true but I would have far more faith in anything you say if the words were supported by an oath on your testicles than one sworn on your belief in the bible.

seruko
Guest
14 years ago

this is how it goes down when the boss is watching, but the boss is not always watching, the boss only particularly cares about what happens when they are watching.

I wish you the best of luck with your upcoming appointment with the US Legal System, may it be gentle, sensible and swift.

Kyle
Guest
Kyle
14 years ago

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the point of terrorism is to terrify, yes? Well I’m terrified of the comments following that Times Herald story, of what the US is becoming and what these people will accept (or sacrifice) to stay “safe”. Which I assume they’re doing because they too are terrified.

/facepalm

Toasty slice of epic fail anyone? It’s fresh from the oven!

FYI, it was this debacle that lead me here, and I have since read Starfish and enjoyed it. You should get beaten up more often, I’m considering it for my own writing career.

walrus
Guest
walrus
14 years ago

So Dr. Watts got a good crossing entering the U.S.A again

……but what if the other crew are on duty when he leaves, like last time??/

Somewhat Skeptical
Guest
Somewhat Skeptical
14 years ago

The second time around you got the special treatment you felt you deserved in the first place. They bowed and scraped, and you are happy. Congrats. Let’s hope they throw you in the slammer when it’s all over.

nacks
Guest
nacks
14 years ago

@Somewhat Skeptical everything other than them blocking off lanes (which was probably special treatment because they needed him to pull out of the regular lane so he could fill out forms) is the sort of treatment EVERYONE should expect going through our borders. I don’t care if you look like a thug and don’t speak english very well, or wear a turban. Everyone going through the border should be treated with respect and the kindness one would should give to any visitor.

Sure, the CBP officers are the first line of defense on our border but these people are also the first people greeting those coming to visit our country or returning to our country. Do you treat your guests coming to your house rudely (if you do I guess that would explain your attitude)?

I believe I have a right as a tax payer (that pays the salaries of the CBP officers) to expect that their treatment of the people coming through our borders does not assume that they are criminals and treats them with respect. I also fail to see the value in random stops of vehicles leaving the country. If they have specific things they plan to search for in outbound vehicles they should be clearly stated. If it is their intent to stop all rentals leaving the country, they should do that and clearly state that is the reason.

Also, asking drivers of vehicles to stay in their cars while being searched is in itself a questionable policy. Why leave the driver in the car where they have access to a dangerous weapon (the car itself) or other hidden weapons within the car. The situation that Dr Watts and others are placed in, in these boarder crossings do very little to decrease the chances of other incidents like these happening.

Chris in NY
Guest
14 years ago

Off-topic yet uncanny coincidence #126, I just discovered a few moments ago (from a Google blogsearch) that the Blindsight audio book was narrated by a former acquaintance of mine: T. Ryder Smith!

http://ow.ly/Pld8

Life is strange.

rayp
Guest
rayp
14 years ago

Merry Christmas Dr. Watts!

SM
Guest
SM
14 years ago

Well, Peter, I think it is YOU whose reading comprehension isn’t as good as it could be. The post you quoted was from “SM”, not “S&M” as you referenced.

Standard ops of law enforcement is that they treat people during a stop with courtesy and respect, until the people they are dealing with prove to be problem, which you did by failing to comply with their requests to return to your vehicle.

You also mentioned in other places that you used “words” when you demanded an explanation of the stop. What “words” did you use, and how did you say them?

sigh
Guest
sigh
14 years ago

Yeah, because you’d better use the correct words and correct tone each and every time you talk to an officer or you deserve being beaten and arrested!

/wow, some people.
//this incident has really brought out the trolls.

Al Billings
Guest
14 years ago

Some people want to lick the boots of the cops, after all.

Raleigh Fingers
Guest
Raleigh Fingers
14 years ago

Peter, some humble advice.
Order a Motion to Preserve on the video evidence.
They’ll destroy it if you don’t it assuming it’s not flattering to them.\
Inadvertently, of course. ha ha.
I’m seen this happen countless time in DUI cases.
Freedom of Information is another route to get it.
Believe me, they’ll burn the video and you’ll wonder hmmm..why
didn’t I try to prevent this.
See Brady, Trombetta, also Bryant vs DC Appeals Court case law.
Nuff said.

Somewhat Skeptical
Guest
Somewhat Skeptical
14 years ago

Peter Watts: All this, and humble too!

Ian
Guest
Ian
14 years ago

I was watching an Alex jones movie – think of him what you will – but this clip had a saying I just loved. The new Baskin Robins, 31 flavours of boot polish! And he went on to name those flavours based on the crazy things people have seen and claimed to have seen. 😉

Epic Fail indeed. I’ll take one slice, please.

In case of fascism …

SM
Guest
SM
14 years ago

Wow, so your reference to taking my initials and using them as a reference to S&M, Spaniards and Mexicans, was deliberate? You are so BRILLIANT! I bow to your superior intellect. As for “fascination with uniforms”, at least I am not a Clintonian-style pseudo male who disdains military service, and have served in the Armed Forces of MY country. Unlike you.

As for standard ops, when you exited your vehicle and you refused to comply with officers requests to do so, then the next thing they must do is take you into custody. Sounds like they followed procedure to me.

Twinkie
Guest
Twinkie
14 years ago

“Wow, so your reference to taking my initials and using them as a reference to S&M, Spaniards and Mexicans, was deliberate?”

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, are ya?

Chris in NY
Guest
14 years ago

Some Marine said, “and have served in the Armed Forces of MY country. Unlike you.”

I’m assuming it’s the USA you’re referring to. Though I missed serving in the armed forces myself, I do have some experience with those who did. Father stationed in Alaska during the Cold War (where I heard you can see Russia). Maternal uncle was a “grunt” in Viet Nam. Older paternal uncle served in the US Army Air Corps in WWII (still alive!).

But it took receiving Saving Private Ryan on DVD during the holidays 2001 to remind me why so many men died on the shores of Normandy so that we could preserve our way of life. And that was from a young Parisian friend who wanted to thank me for that. Not something (unlike many of my countrymen) I would personally take any credit for. But the least I can do in their memory is to uphold that for which they and so many others fought for: the foundation of our civilization: the US Constitution. It’s more than paper: it’s a promise. A promise to the world for all to see and one that, if I have anything to say about it (and that remains to be seen) the United States of America will keep.

Another fun anecdote I heard or read back in school, possibly apocryphal. The question was, why did “the good Germans” go along with the Nazis? How could that happen? Why couldn’t that happen in the US? The story was from the Korean War. An American unit was working with a South Korean one. The South Korean soldiers, every morning, ritualistically bathed and shaved their sergeant in his chair, carrying it and him into the river, with unquestioning respect. When the American sergeant said, “Hey, why don’t you guys do that for me?” The answer was, “**** you, sarge!”

brycycle
Guest
brycycle
14 years ago

Well, of course I don’t know Watts-nor anyone else here-but having read a lot of Watts comments, I can at least say, while he is, of course, a human being, his behaviour seems to, at least in comments, come across as the high school clown-always a snide remark and a put down. Did he deserve the treatment? No. No one does. But, it seems he wasn’t hospitalized, so, take your beating, and quit whining! By the way, the obvious reply is”‘oh, well, now you’re polite.” You’ve learned something valuable: this is the way the world works. Should know that, being a marine biologist and all. To clarify: I’m not coming down-pointing out that there are a few lessons on how humans operate, that Mr. Watts could stand to learn from-and might be-I don’t know him, so I can’t say. If he is-well, hey, jolly good and all that. If he aint, well, that’s his choice, too. Oh, and if SM has, as he said, served for his country, then SM’s sarge has said worse things to him than Watts ever has. Sounds like a case of one guy saying “Aw, boohoo, the fella got punched up and had to stay the night in a cold cell. Dude, my days as a soldier would kick your posterior on that score!” So yeah, I got no sympathy (kinda hard if I don’t know the guy) for what happened to poor Mr. Watts. What would impress me? Had Mr. Watts quietly Not in court, mind you, if the case is solid) gone through this, won the case, and then, maybe offhand mentioned it. That would be cool. But whining in his wee bloggy, almost immediately? Nah, sorry, doesn’t cut it.

keanani
Guest
keanani
14 years ago

Brycycle said: “What would impress me? Had Mr. Watts quietly Not in court, mind you, if the case is solid) gone through this, won the case, and then, maybe offhand mentioned it. That would be cool. But whining in his wee bloggy, almost immediately? Nah, sorry, doesn’t cut it.”

I am listening to my CD “Jalan Jalan”, by Bali, as I read this, I highly recommend the song “Firefly Sanctuary”…

The world where humility, quiet strength, politeness and human niceties are a way of life, and valued, is no longer the world in which we live in. We live in a world where “truthiness” is a way to make something that which is not true or is made-up fakery into true factual believability.

I primarily blame the loosey-goosey, anything goes, willy-nilly uber-liberalism and the wacky beyond pc-brigade that has allowed people to get away with writing “memoirs” that turn out to be fabricated lies and pretend memories, encourages unrestrained attacking of other human beings by savaging someone because you do not like their point of view and proceeding to spread ugliness as virally as possible all over cyberspace in order to “hurt someone”, allows children to cheat their way through school as if it is some sort of right and advocates making excuses for bad behavior, lies and wrongdoing, instead of just coming right out and saying “I’m sorry” and taking responsibility. There is nothing of honesty, dignity, respect, integrity or honor in that.

But this is the world we live in. People do not trust one another as they used to. We live in a world of the very real and present potentiality for violence, living with threats that have marred and mangled our hopes and dreams, and our dealings with one another. The culture that is “American” has become one where it is far too easy for someone to denigrate, demean, slur and harm another just because one does not agree with that person.

I am not sure if it has become so commonplace and people have become so apathetically resigned to just expect that this is the way it is, living within a toxic atmosphere fed by negativity, rudeness, snarky attitude, treating others indifferently, not tolerating that we are all individual human beings, engaging in a gang-type-pack mentality of attacking another or others who dare to not agree…one thing I am certain of, as this increasingly overpopulated, depleted and polluted planet of ours diminishes, it is going to get worse.

Unfortunately, the world we live in today is one where those who believe that justice will prevail and the truth being at their side will see them through is oftentimes not the rightful outcome. Many human beings have found out the hard way, as we see time and again, that “being quiet” and going through the process of righting a wrong many times leads down a path that ends up with making your life worse, or erases years of your life in seeking resolution for that which you had no cause to be entangled within in the first place. Some people just give up and let the bad happen to them without uttering a word.

The potentiality for having your reputation damaged because someone or some people stick to their version in order to lay blame on another, and absolve themselves of any wrongdoing, to save themselves, even if it means harming an innocent person is nothing new. Sometimes people need to say something or speak up at the onset in order to thwart any potential for falsehoods, lies and “getting stories straight” comes to light. Just as it is known that some people in positions of authority or power will not admit they are wrong and perpetuate this wrong against a person in order to continue their occupying that position, we know that sweeping broad-brush painting of anyone in such positions as similar in behavior and mentality is also wrong.

This is Peter’s blog, and he is a writer. All throughout his blog he writes about all sorts of things and he has this same style and way of thinking, feeling and expressing. It is his right to say what had happened to him as he sees fit. Only Peter and the U.S.-Canada Border Guards know what went down on that Tuesday of December 8th. Until any of us has experienced what Peter had, then none of us can say what he should or should not have done or how he should have reacted or whether he should have been tight-lipped quiet or just do his usual thing and write (speak via) on his blog. Until you have walked in another’s shoes, and you yourself, (or I, or anyone) have experienced what another has, who can say, really, what you (or I, or anyone) would have done? Reacted? Responded?

By your very words the tone inlaid therein is one of snarkastic contempt. You do not know Peter and yet, instead of taking the high-road and merely expressing your view in a respectful manner of disagreement as to what Peter experienced and how he may have responded, although you are not in his shoes, or even took a good-natured joking stance, you have tread along the path of sarcastically trivializing Peter’s experience and mocking his website by pinning your view on his one blogged renderings of his U.S.-Canada Border crossing experience. I do not understand why it is so hard for people to just be respectful, speaking to one another in a manner of positivity, with care and concern for one another…

Oh Really
Guest
Oh Really
14 years ago

This is Peter’s blog, and he is a writer. All throughout his blog he writes about all sorts of things and he has this same style and way of thinking, feeling and expressing. It is his right to say what had happened to him as he sees fit. Only Peter and the U.S.-Canada Border Guards know what went down on that Tuesday of December 8th. Until any of us has experienced what Peter had, then none of us can say what he should or should not have done or how he should have reacted or whether he should have been tight-lipped quiet or just do his usual thing and write (speak via) on his blog. Until you have walked in another’s shoes, and you yourself, (or I, or anyone) have experienced what another has, who can say, really, what you (or I, or anyone) would have done? Reacted? Responded?

By that standard, no one can ever have an opinion of anything unless they were there.

Oh Really
Guest
Oh Really
14 years ago

while he is, of course, a human being, his behaviour seems to, at least in comments, come across as the high school clown-always a snide remark and a put down

An apt criticism. For someone who presents himself as liberal and all the rest, Peter Watts comes across on his blog as remarkably small-minded, childish, and nasty toward anyone who’d dare criticize him.

Eva Whitley
Guest
Eva Whitley
14 years ago

“This is Peter’s blog, and he is a writer. All throughout his blog he writes about all sorts of things and he has this same style and way of thinking, feeling and expressing. It is his right to say what had happened to him as he sees fit. Only Peter and the U.S.-Canada Border Guards know what went down on that Tuesday of December 8th. Until any of us has experienced what Peter had, then none of us can say what he should or should not have done or how he should have reacted or whether he should have been tight-lipped quiet or just do his usual thing and write (speak via) on his blog. Until you have walked in another’s shoes, and you yourself, (or I, or anyone) have experienced what another has, who can say, really, what you (or I, or anyone) would have done? Reacted? Responded?”

By that standard, no one can ever have an opinion of anything unless they were there.By that standard, no one can ever have an opinion of anything unless they were there.

Anyone can have an opinion but I’d say the folks who were there are the ones with an informed opinion. Since one can only listen to so many opinions, I’d say the informed opinion is the better bet. Would that more commentators on this subject figure this out.

PL
Guest
PL
14 years ago

Some of the entities posting here remind me of someone who got discharged from the United States Air Force because he was one of the one percent or fewer people who failed the criteria to be promoted from second lieutenant to first lieutenant. Among the things he believed were that the Sino-Soviet split was purely a propaganda ploy to mislead the rest of the world into thinking there were disagreements between China and the Soviet Union. He insisted that the USSR and China were allies, the facts that it was the world’s longest hostile border between the two, and there were a million troops stationed along the border and hostilities nearly broke out on more than one occasions, were things he uncategoricaly refused to believe.

I was in the US military at the time. SM above reminds me of the fellow. The difference is that way back then the claimed-to-Christian bigots such as Lt Gen Boykin and the officers who turned the US Air Force Academy into a Christian evangelizing institution and an institution which condoned rape and other abuse of female cadets, hadn’t gotten into ascendany and promoted to that ascendancy by claimed-to-Christian intolerant misogynistic evangelizing “leaders” in the US Congress and Executive Branch. I like to think that they would have had their asses kicked out with bad conduct charges, or give the choice of retire or get courtmartialled and dishonorably discharged (thinking of a particular colonel who apparently retired given the choice of retire or else….)

DTS
Guest
DTS
14 years ago

PL: I was in the Service (Army) in the mid-80s (Army brat before that). I can only speak to my experience, bu the number of borderline imbeciles and/or sociopaths or psychopaths on the bases where I served (Ft. Gordon, GA and then Pirmasens, Germany) was suprising. MOST of the troops were at least average to above average intelligence. But the frequency with which I would encounter one like “SM” above reminded me to tread carefully. The sad thing is, when I came back “to the country” after serving in Europe, it was like stepping into a parallel universe (which was still devolving as I watched), influenced by the Regan-era propaganda and the ever-growing influence of such far-right extremists as the Christian conservatives, equally conservative politicians (the last true LIBERAL was FDR) and media outlets like Fox News (with all of their middle-aged, white-bread, We-Need-to-Wage-War-As-Long-As-I’m-Not-Enlisted commentators) . America is a New World, indeed. But there is nothing brave about it: fear rules the day (and results in everything from intolerance and misinformation to innocents getting treated like punching bags on our borders).

Cheers from Australia,
DTS (who is, in case anyone wonders, a decidedly _white_ and middle-aged expatriate).

Raja
Guest
Raja
14 years ago

I was out of town the weekend of the original event, but I actually live very close to the border crossing in question. If you ever need anything around here — a ride, a beer, whatever — pop me at this email address and I’d be happy to help out.

keanani
Guest
keanani
14 years ago

Hi Eva 🙂

Eva Whitley said: “By that standard, no one can ever have an opinion of anything unless they were there.By that standard, no one can ever have an opinion of anything unless they were there.”

There is a big difference between having an opinion about something based on things unknown, and being objective, AND basing one’s opinion on self-created unknowns projected into the unknown…

Eva Whitley then stated: “Anyone can have an opinion but I’d say the folks who were there are the ones with an informed opinion. Since one can only listen to so many opinions, I’d say the informed opinion is the better bet. Would that more commentators on this subject figure this out.”

Agreed. Certainly. Anyone can have an opinion. Anyone should have freedom of thought and speech.

My issue is not opinion in and of itself or the freedom to thereby formulate and express it.

It is the mentality of injecting one’s particular view into an opinion which reflects upon the person making the opinion and not the experience, and actuality, of the person who was the catalyst for the opinion.

Real life is becoming like reality tv, where people act, pretending to be real, and truthiness, “trooth” based upon what one believes, and not upon fact and sound reality, has become the popular cultural norm…

Personal example – The opinion of someone telling me that they think I am aloof, somewhat anti-social, and because I am “intelligent”, I believe myself to be “better than” this opinion-maker. This opinion-maker does not know me, has not lived my life nor had my experiences, and yet this person formulates an opinion of me because I am quiet, deep-thinking, introverted, cultivate humility, Myers-Brigg INFP, born-shy and quite the loner – instead of THAT assessment, the opinion is one of negativity, rather demeaning and way-off base. Then another soul has the opinion that I am a positive, happy, kind person based on their interacting with me, and when I tell them of my hermit-tendencies, need-for-quiet and solitude, and aversion to too much noise-energy sapping negativity, shy-introvert nature, this opinion-maker states this does not jive…

Hence, the being in another’s shoes and making opinions with a bit more grace and positivity. To balance diplomatic objectivity based upon the facts and one’s view, with emotional potentiality of one’s self and unique individuality, without the need for rudeness, denigration and rather gratuitous, pointed negativity at anyone involved.

In one culture of which I was raised, that being Hawaiian, words carry weight, are life and death, are imbued with kaona (hidden meaning) and are not to be taken lightly for they do cause harm…