Born in Pain and Sweat and Pee: the 2024 Gallery Update

I have been wracked by COVID over the last ten days. If I’m not hot enough to set paper aflame, I’m wet enough to single-handedly power a water slide. Throughout the night, every 25 minutes on the dot, I shed my own body mass in sweat like some kind of human hagfish. I take desperate midnight baths consisting of no more than 40% water: the rest is mucous and sweat (and pee the consistency of machine oil and the color of blood oranges, if I’m not fast enough hauling myself out of the tub when Nature calls). I fart like the Hindenburg. The BUG says she has not seen me laid this low since the days of Flesh-Eating Fest, over a dozen years ago.

And yet, I promised you all a Gallery update.

Normally I would just say, Fuck you all: I’m sick, you can wait another week or two. But this particular update has an inflexible expiry date, for it includes the printer files for Jon Bell’s Scrambler Christmas Ornaments, which are either useful now or not for another year. So I’m been slogging away. ragged, nauseous, the noblest Squid on the plain. Between hacks and migraines I’ve curated over sixty artifacts―thirty in the rifters gallery, the rest over in Blindopraxia―that would, I’m certain, comprise a special collection for the ages if only I could see the fucking things through the splinters in my eyes.

There are, as I’ve mentioned, the scrambler ornaments―just barely in under the wire, but that’s still plenty good enough for anyone with a maker in their possession. There’s a mini-soundtrack for Blindsight, courtesy of the composer who scored the only movie actually filmed in outer space. There are some surprisingly-good AI-generated renderings of the Juan de Fuca Ridge (also some slop, admittedly, but not a much as you might think). There’s some new official cover art out of Poland. There are radio spots, as capitalism staples on a cheery face to ring a few more bucks out of the apocalypse. And there’s an animated gif showing Sarasti as a furry.

Because of course there is.

Once I post this I expect to collapse either until the next drench sweat or until February. I will never do this again.

Merry Christmas.



This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 24th, 2024 at 1:44 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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Dan Reid
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Dan Reid
1 day ago

Hang in there and take care of yourself. I admire your reckless productivity. When I had Covid, at one point I came to while sitting on the bathroom floor in a puddle of pee and/or sweat and there wasn’t a single damned artistic creation in sight.

Martin Schröder
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Martin Schröder
1 day ago

Get well! And happy holidays!

LlamaNL
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LlamaNL
22 hours ago

The zip file for the scrambler printer model seems to be corrupt.

Get well soon!

BAMK
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BAMK
22 hours ago

Merry christmas! Hope you feel better soon

MoscaBlanca
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MoscaBlanca
21 hours ago

Hope you feel better! and happy holydays. The only thing cutter than the little scramblers is Yukka Mewrastry there

Jack
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Jack
21 hours ago

Hope you feel better soon—here’s hoping for a Christmas miracle. I guess it’s probably too late for Paxlovid.

Mog
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Mog
20 hours ago

Don’t die! It would make us all very sad.

Alex
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Alex
16 hours ago

Get well soon!

Antonio
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Antonio
13 hours ago

Merry Christmas from Spain, Peter. Wishing you a fast recovery. Thanks for the update on the resources.

Ashley
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Ashley
13 hours ago

Covid at Christmas, that fucking sucks monkey balls. Here’s to recovery and better health in the new year.